What Happens in the First Week?

Orientation begins before the flight

Before arriving in the United States, every au pair completes a mandatory orientation covering cultural adjustment, program rules, and what to expect in an American home. It is designed so that nobody walks into a strange house in a strange country with no frame of reference at all.

Then the real adjustment begins — and no orientation can do that part for you.

For host families: say it out loud, in week one

The single most useful thing a host family can do in the first week is talk through the things they assume are obvious. They are not obvious to someone who arrived four days ago from another country.

• House rules — shoes, doors, food, guests, quiet hours
• The weekly routine, walked through day by day
• The children's schedules, including the recurring ones you never think about
• How you prefer to be contacted during the day
• What to do if something goes wrong and you are not reachable

Do this together, out loud, rather than leaving a printed sheet on a counter.

For au pairs: ask everything

There is no such thing as too many questions in the first week. Asking how something works is never held against you; guessing wrong and continuing to guess for a month usually is. If you are unsure whether you may use something, take the car somewhere, or eat something in the fridge — ask.

Expect the first week to feel strange

It will feel like a whirlwind, for both sides, and that is entirely normal. Jet lag, a new language environment all day, unfamiliar children, and a house whose rhythms you do not know yet. None of that is evidence the match was wrong.

Why the first week pays off later

The families and au pairs who start with clear, unhurried conversations consistently report the smoothest years. Most difficulties later in a placement trace back to an expectation that was never actually stated in week one.